– Здраствуйце, таварышч Чабан, – кланяецца на школьным калідоры на некалькі головаў вышэйшы за мяне гімназіст. Памячаю кароткі, здзіўлена-засаромлены позірк якраз праходзіўшай міма русіцысткі. Яе, мабыць, ніхто так не вітае, прынамсі на школьным калідоры. Сцэнарый паўтараецца на чарговым перапынку. Да двухметроўца далучаецца харок напалову меншых гімназістаў. Робіцца малапрыемна, шчыра кажучы, зусім непрыемна.
Урок англійскай мовы пачынаецца. Перш чым перайсці да асноўной тэмы кранаю справу «рускага таварышча».
– Чаму гаворыце да мяне па-руску а не, для прыкладу, па-беларуску?– кідаю шаблю разгойданай моладзі. Аказваецца, хлопчукі зусім несвядомыя розніцы паміж гэтымі дзвюма мовамі. «Здраствуюць» таму, што бачылі мяне ў беларускамоўных фільмах пра Крынкі, якія круцілі мы, свайго часу, з Томкам Вісьнеўскім. Дарэчы, што іх зматывавала аглядаць такое амбітнае кіно?
– А скуль узяўся таварышч? – не скрываю шчырага зацікаўлення. У зале цішыня.
– Як гэта магчыма што вы зусім не абражаецеся? – здзіўляецца раптам адзіны адважны двухметровец, які хоча каб звяртацца да яго не па прозвішчы а проста Куба. Прыходжу да думкі, што апошняя літара «а» адназначна асацыюецца з Масквой, той жа Варшавай але напэўна не з Рымам, Шчэцінам ці тым жа Беластокам. Затое «таварышча» – не па-савецку але па-мойму можна прыпісаць толькі мужчынам. «Мужчынскі» па гучанні падобны да «мужны». Бывае што толькі па гучанні. Ці гэтыя хлопчукі бачаць у мяне мужнасць, ці толькі мае штодзённыя, часам на два размеры завялікія джынсы, вайскова-зялёныя курткі і старыя, чорныя мартэнсы. Нехта з іх, быццам у жартах, дашукаўся ў мяне праблемы з ідэнтыфікацыяй полу? Як найбольш слушная заўвага, абражацца немагчыма. І здаецца гэтая з’ява дзейнічае ў два бакі. Быццам у чэшскім фільме майго дзяцінства «Нікога няма дома». Хлопец залазіць пад плед каб не бачыць бацькоў, падумаўшы што такім чынам і яны яго не ўбачаць. Падросткі – выдатныя псіхолагі, маланкава вылавілі ў мяне адсутнасць стандартных нормаў і меж неабходных для вызначэння чалавечага полу. Здаецца, вельмі іх гэта кранае, толькі неяк не хапае адвагі, каб пра такія справы шчыра за мной пагаварыць.
– Ці можаце сказаць нешта па-беларуску? – просяць з непрыхаваным і несур’ёзным энтузіязмам. – Давайце з дзвюх гадзін ангельскай мовы выдзялім адну на беларускую, – прапануюць. Нехта пытаецца, на колькіх мовах размаўляю і ці ведаю таксама польскую. Тут находзяць на мяне яшчэ большая збянтэжанасць і хваляванне. Значыць, гэтыя вучні не ўсведамляюць сабе не толькі беларускай, але таксама польскай мовы.
Усё-такі, час на разважанні канчаецца. Вяртаемся да прыпісанага школьнай праграмай навучання ангельшчыны.
А на калідоры зноў турбуюць. Патрабуюць беларушчыны. Пачынаю з найбольш мілагучных «прывітанне», «калі ласка» і «да пабачэння». Звяртаю ўвагу на правільнае маўленне. Паўтараюць натуральна, беспраблемна і беспамылкова. Далейшую адукацыю раю развіваць з дапамогай дзядоў і бабуляў. Надзвычай ажыўленае «прывітанне» гучыць цяпер замест былога «здраствуйце», амаль на кожным перапынку, прытым па некалькі разоў, з дабаўкай жартаўлівых усмешак. І зноў мне няёмка. Сарамлівая, простая-прасцяцкая мова. Сорам пераказваны мясцовымі з пакалення ў пакаленне. А ў мяне яшчэ страх, што пра калідорныя ўрокі данясуць да бургамістра, а затым з працы выкінуць… Ізноў, быццам Надзя Саўчанка, пайду на галадоўку. Толькі з такой розніцай, што яна галадала з выбару, а я буду галадаць з мусу.
– Гэтае «прывітанне» атрымліваецца ў вас выдатна, – хвалю шкаляроў. – Не можа быць інакш, яно жа ў вашых генах сядзіць.
На перапынкавым дзяжурстве на калідоры пад бібліятэкай традыцыйна акружае мяне статак вышэйшых і меншых на некалькі головаў, разгайданых хлапчукоў.
– А мы толькі што вершыка ў бібліятэцы прадэкламавалі, – хваляцца радасна.
– Ну, тады прадэкламуйце і мне, – прапаную.
Чую вульгарную рыфмаванку пра ўцекачоў. Расчароўваю іх сваім непераможным супрацівам. Не разумеюць таксама майго пачуцця адказнасці за іх выхаванне.
– Я вас любіў, але ўжо не буду, – прызнаецца пакрыўджаны двухметровец.
– Гэта зусім не мае для мяне ніякага значэння, – тлумачу. – Я тут не для таго, каб мне любілі, але каб ад мяне вучыліся, карысталіся досведам майго даўжэйшага за тваё жыцця.
Чарговы ўрок зноў пачынаецца тэмай шматмоўя.
– Мне нешта падказвае, што вы жартуеце сабе з гэтай беларускай мовы. Значыць, вы смяецеся з саміх сябе. Ну, тады, калі вы саміх сябе не шануеце, так і іншых не будзеце шанаваць, а значыць, што і вас шанаваць ніхто не будзе.
Вочы сарамліва спускаюцца недзе пад парты. Добры знак. Вяртаюся да ангельшчыны.
У настаўніцкім пакоі бачу кніжку энцыклапедычнага памеру пад загалоўкам «Я грамадзянін Беларусі». Ніжэй такі ж загаловак, толькі на рускай мове.
– Што гэта такое? – цікаўлюся.
Уладальніца кніжкі катэгарычна бароніць доступу да публікацыі. Тлумачыць, што гэта для яе зусім непатрэбная памятка з сустрэчы мясцовых школьнікаў з беларускімі аднакласнікамі.
– Можа, тады аддаць гэту кніжку ў бібліятэку? – зноў працягваю руку ў напрамку кніжкі і напатыкаю тое ж супраціўленне.
– Няма такой патрэбы. Нашы вучні не чытаюць па-беларуску, – цвёрда тлумачыць уладальніца кніжкі.
У пакой уваходзіць русіцыстка. Цяпер жанчыны разам гартаюць старонкі і захапляюцца зместам. Адна падпарадкоўваецца ўнушэнням другой. Здымкі з дзяржаўных мерапрыемстваў, сучасныя фабрыкі, спартыўныя комплексы, калектывы ў стылізаваных на нацыянальныя вопратках выдатна дапамогуць у навучанні рускага «языка».
Нявыказанае стала выказаным. На калідоры чую толькі польскае «дзень добры». Ужо без сарамлівай усмешкі, з сапраўднай сімпатыяй і ветлівасцю.
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